Boar Burgers

I'm only posting this because Nikos said they were the best burgers I ever made. Most of my burger recipes are pretty generic: ground animal + vinegar + seasoning. Sometimes onions are thrown in the mix. And if I happen to have homemade Worcestershire sauce, it goes in there too.

1 lb ground boar (or pork if that's what you got. I think dark meat chicken or turkey would also work.)
1 tbsp apple balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp homemade Worcestershire
1 tbsp Penzey's Tsardust Memories

If you don't have Tsardust Memories, combine cinnamon, nutmeg, garlic and salt into some blend of awesomeness.

I cooked these on the gas grill with applewood chips.

Roo-gan Josh

Rogan Josh is an Indian Dish traditionally served with lamb. I just happened to have a small stockpile of kangaroo rumps that I ordered from Marx Foods. They only ship in bulk. I have a big freezer because I have the dream that one day I will actually go hunting for deer or javelina and I'll need some place to put it. But in the meantime, it's easier to sit at my computer and order exotic meats in bulk and have them shipped overnight.

Kangaroo is extremely lean so you're going to need to add some fat. I used lamb tallow, but coconut oil would also work.

3-4 lbs of kangaroo rump, cut into cubes
4Tbsp Penzey's Rogan Josh seasoning or make your own
1 can coconut milk
2 Tbsp fat, divided
1 large onion, chopped
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1/2 cup shredded coconut (optional)

Brown the kangaroo in a cast iron skillet using 1 Tbsp of fat. I did it in 3 batches (1 tsp of fat at a time) because it was alot of freaking meat. Put meat in crock pot with all the other ingredients, except the shredded, dessicated, unsweetened coconut. Cook on low for 6 hours and add the coconut if you need to thicken up the stew.

Anteloaf

Oh look it's a meatloaf recipe. How can I make this meatloaf recipe standout amongst the billions of recipes out there? Let me give it a clever name!

I buy game meat at Sprouts. I don't actually have the wherewithal to hunt for myself. I should change that. A rifle would be nice. Antelope, like other game meats, is very lean so it should be mixed with a nice fatty farm animal like beef, lamb or pork so it doesn't come out too dry. I used 85% lean beef and it came out nice and moist and it doesn't really need sauce. A little sauce wouldn't hurt though.

I had to make this into 5 mini meatloaves instead of one big one because I left my meatloaf pan at Nikos's house. It's probably better this way because they cook faster, they're more portable and I can give him one or two to take home.

2 lbs Ground antelope
1 lbs ground beef (85%)
2 eggs
1 red onion, finely chopped
16 cloves garlic, pressed or minced
1 can tomato paste
1 date, pitted
2 Tbsp Apple Cider Vinegar
2tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp smoked paprika
2 tsp crushed brown mustard seed
2 tsp fennel seeds
1 tsp thyme
1 tsp oregano
1 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp horseradish
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/4 tsp ground fennel

In a large mixing bowl combine meat, eggs and garlic.

in a mini food processor combine vinegar, tomato paste, salt, pepper, spices and date. blend until date is completely blended. Put tomato-date mush in mixing bowl. Since the mini processor was already dirty, I threw the onion in there and chopped it finely in there. the same could be done with the garlic.

Bake at 350 Degrees. take out of the oven when the fork test comes out clean. Cooking times will vary.

Smoked Duck Legs

People who know me know I'm not particularly fond of children. Individual children are fine over the age of ten. That's about the age when you can finally talk to them like they're human beings. However, hordes of children at any age are best avoided.

I do like dogs of all ages. I have two. They are both totally with me on the paleo diet. Jack won't have it any other way. He was born wild and probably had to do alot of hunting and scavenging in his formative years. At least his mom did. I'm sure he helped. He's always trying to help me around the house. It's a shame he doesn't have thumbs. If you give Jack a dog cookie that was made with wheat, he'll look at you funny and try to hide the treat. Hazel will eat anything.

It's alot easier to get your family on board with the paleo diet when your family members are canines. I don't need to keep cookies and cereal in the house. I can cook any vegetable I want without anyone complaining. Their treats are my scraps: bones, gristle, fish skin. They love it. They won't have it any other way.

The duck legs came two in a package. How convenient, I have two dogs who like leg bones. Well, they like all bones. They're not picky. 

Gratuitous Dog Picture

2 duck legs
1 Tbsp Black Currant Balsamic Vinegar
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp ginger
1/8 tsp anise
1/8 tsp cloves
salt, pepper to taste

Mix spices together, rub on legs. The duck legs, not your own legs, although, it might make a soothing muscle rub. Put legs in a ziplock bag and add vinegar and the rest of the spice mix and marinate overnight. Smoke! I used cherry wood chips. You can use any balsamic vinegar for the marinade, but I recommend finding a sweet and fruity one.

Smoked Bambi Bitkis (Meatballs)

Bitkis are Russian Meatballs. The seasoning in this recipe you're more likely to find in sausage, but that seemed entirely too complicated. Instead I decided to make meatballs and smoke them.

I make my own coconut milk and this has almost nothing to do with this recipe. I only do 1 coconut per week. Although 1 coconut only yields about 1 - 1.5 cups of coconut milk, what you're left with is about 2 cups of shredded coconut. There's only so much I can do with that since I live alone, don't eat sweets and don't like children. I used to just throw shells in the compost heap, until I saw this and I suddenly wished for this elderly Asian woman to adopt me. So I threw the shells onto the coals in my smoker.

1 lbs ground venison (you can sub beef or pork)
1 Tbsp Penzeys Tsardust Memories
1-2 Tbsp Fat of choice (I used macadamia nut oil)
1/2 Tbsp Caraway seeds
1 tsp crushed brown mustard seeds

Mix in bowl, make into balls, smoke. Venison is very lean which is why I added the mac oil. If you use a fattier meat, you won't have to add any. Another good idea is to get some high fat ground beef and do half beef half venison. Smoke for about an hour, turning only once. I put them on top of aluminum foil so they don't stick to the grill. If you bake them or pan fry them instead of smoking them, 1 Tbsp of oil will suffice, but with smoking you have to worry about them drying out, so err on the side of caution. Using an animal fat is probably a better idea than an oil, but I don't have any.

I made a mushroom sauce to go with this.

Elk Burgers with Homemade Mustard

Topped with grilled onions and fresh avocado.

Alas, I could not come up with a cuddly Disney Elk character name.

I've never eaten elk before so I have no idea what to do with it. It's very lean, so it's a good idea to add fat to it before cooking. Some recipes I found suggested mixing in a little ground beef, others suggested wrapping it in bacon, some recipes add eggs. I decided to go with cooking oil. I chose macadamia nut because I bought a bottle last week and haven't really done much with it yet. Here's what Mark's Daily Apple has to say about macadamia nut oil.

1 lbs ground elk
1/2 tbsp macadamia nut oil (or whatever fat you prefer)
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
3 cloves garlic
Salt, pepper, smoked paprika, crushed brown mustard seeds, cayenne to taste

Mix in a bowl and set aside.

Mustard:
2 tbsp Ground yellow mustard
2 tbsp brown mustard seeds
1/2 tsp turmeric
2 tbsp vinegar (I used Honey Ginger White Balsamic) Apple cider or white wine vinegar are also good
1 tbsp water (or more)
salt, pepper
1/8 tsp horseradish powder (optional)

Soak whole mustard seeds in vinegar for 2 hours or more (the longer you soak, the more mellow the flavor. You can soak them over night). Blend in mini processor. There's going to be extra, but you can keep it in the fridge for awhile. The vinegar and salt should preserve it.

The horseradish gives it a kick that might be a little over powering. You might even want to double the recipe but keep the horseradish the same or omit it completely.

Bunless burgers don't have to be boring. Even when I ate bread, I like so many toppings on my burger that it would slip out of the bun and I would have to eat it with a knife and fork.

Bambiballs with Zucchini Noodles and Vegan Pesto

I hit the game meat jackpot at Sprouts. They had venison, elk, antelope and wild boar! Not being a hunter, game meat is an exotic treat. This recipe can be done with beef or bison if you can't get your hands on venison.

Zucchini Noodles are my newest favorite. For some reason, if I take a vegetable I'm ambivalent to and put it through a spiral slicer, it is magically transformed into something awesome. I had my smoker going so of course, grape tomatoes ended up on there. I also through some fennel on the grill and roasted some red peppers.

I do a raw vegan pesto. I have a couple of vegan friends and one was a raw foodist for a while, so I like to make recipes I can share with them whenever possible - which isn't often. I don't think veganism is diametrically opposed to paleo foodism. I once read a New York Times article on people living the paleo lifestyle and they all seemed to snub vegans. I don't think that's fair. Even though our approach is different, our goals for better health are the same and both diets require great discipline, self-control and sacrifice. Plus, you can get lots of great vegetable recipes from vegans.

For the pesto:
Fresh Basil (I used about 50 grams because that's all I had)
2 oz raw pine nuts
1 tbsp olive oil
3 cloves of garlic
juice from 1/2 lemon
salt and pepper

Combine in food processor.

For the meatballs:
1 lb ground venison
1/2 cup eggwhites (or a couple of whole eggs)
2 tbsp tomato paste
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp thyme
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp fennel seeds
1/2 tsp nutmeg

Mix in a bowl ( I used my hands), make into little balls. I lined them up on aluminum foil and smoked them at about 250 degrees. You can grill or bake.

For the Zucchini Noodles:

5 small zucchinis
1 tsp olive oil
salt

Use spiral slicer or julienne slicer to make zucchini into pasta-like strands. Set in a colander and toss with salt for about an hour to drain the excess water. Saute in olive oil (or coconut oil) on a low flame. I used garlic flavored olive oil just because. I also tried to drain off the excess water that formed in the pan while cooking.It took about 5-10 minutes to cook the zucchini.

I mixed it up with spaghetti squash, smoked tomatoes, grilled fennel and roasted red peppers. This meal seems to have alot of steps, but it's really simple. You can prepare the zucchini first so it's draining, then do the meatballs and while those are cooking make the pesto and then cook the zucchini.

Pumbaa-sagna

Last week I stumbled across ground venison and ground wild boar in the frozen food section of Sprouts. As a paleo eater, the idea of wild game is appealing, because it's kind of silly to call it "The Caveman Diet" when cavemen when you're eating farm raised animals. Plus, I like trying new things. I grew up in New York City, my wild game experiences are few and far between.

Of course with venison, Bambi was the first thing to come to mind. Fortunately, Disney has a vast array of animal characters for every flavor of meat. Bambi Burgers will be a future blog. Today is Pumbaa-sagna.

1 lb ground wild boar (you can substitute pork)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp crushed brown mustard
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp fennel seeds
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp thyme
1/4 tsp basil
2 oz tomato paste
1/2 cup egg whites


eggplant
butternut squash
Grape tomatoes (really any kind will do, but I used grape)
1 tsp olive oil

I found a paleo-lasagna recipe using butternut squash once upon a time and made it and it was awesome. I usually think of meat lasagne as a beefy meal. This isn't going to be a traditional lasagne. Not even hardly. But that doesn't mean it can't be awesome. Instead of tomato sauce I just pile smoked tomatoes on top of it.

Combine meat with spices, egg whites and tomato paste in a bowl, set aside.

Thinly slice squash and eggplant. I use a mandolin. Toss eggplant in olive oil. Arrange layers of  veggies and meat in a 9x9 pan. Bake at 400 degrees until it's done, about 45 mins, the veggies should be soft. Top with roasted or smoked tomatoes.

I might have over did it on the veggies so you might want to omit one. or use less of both.