Pork Fried Cauliflower Rice

 I made this to go with the Garlic-Ginger Shrimp

3 cups shredded cauliflower
1 egg, scrambles, fried and cut into small pieces
2 oz bacon or pork belly, diced
1-2 Tbsp fat of choice 
1/3 cup onions, finely chopped
1 tsp minced garlic
1 tsp grated ginger
1 Tbsp coconut aminos
1/4 tsp Red Boat fish sauce
1/4 tsp Chinese Five Spice
salt to taste.

In a large pan or wok, cook bacon. Add onions and saute until translucent. Add garlic and ginger and cok for another 30 seconds. Add fat and cauliflower. When cauliflower starts to slightly brown, add Coconut aminos and Fish Sauce. Add egg, Five Spice and salt. Toss together for about 3 minutes and serve.

Pastelon (Plantain Lasagna)

This is a weekend recipe. It seriously took me 3 hours to make, I thought it would only take 2. Frying the plantains was the most time consuming because I used a deep fryer. If you're feeling ambitious, you might want to prepare it on the weekend and then stick it in the fridge to have during the week because it tastes awesome the next day (and it's easier to cut when it's cool).

Coconut oil
6 ripe plantains
2 lbs ground beef or pork
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp allspice
black pepper
red pepper (optional)
2 bell peppers (any color, I used red), chopped
1 yellow onion, chopped
4 eggs

Cut plantains in half and then slice them lengthwise into 1/4 inch slices. If deep frying, fry them in a single layer (or else they'll stick) until golden brown for about 4-5 minutes or until golden brown and set aside on paper towels. If pan frying, fry them in enough coconut oil to cover them and fry them until golden brown on each side. Set aside on paper towel.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

In a large cast iron pan, brown meat. When meat starts to brown, add onions and peppers and saute until soft. Add seasoning and combine thoroughly.

Line a large baking dish with one layer of fried plantains. Add the meat, using a slotted spoon so the meat isn't too greasy. Press meat down so that it's level, then top with the rest of the plantains. Beat eggs, and pour over the top evenly. Bake at 350 for 45 minutes to 1 hour.

Makes 6 servings.

Smoked Orange Chicken

1 1/2 lbs bone in, skin on chicken drumsticks or thighs
1 small - medium orange juiced and zested (I used a blood orange)
1 tsp Penzey's BBQ 3000
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp ginger powder
1/2 tsp mustard powder

Place chicken in a zip lock bag. Zest and juice orange into the bag. Add seasoning and marinate for 12-24 hours. Place chicken in smoker and reserve the marinade in a bowl for sopping. I used mesquite, but any kind of wood would work well with this. Smoke chicken at 150-180 degrees F for about 4 hours. Periodically, brush chicken with reserved marinade.

When ready to eat, grill or bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes
.

Italian Sausage Stuffed Zucchini

For the sausage:

1 lb ground pork
1/2 Tbsp fennel seeds, toasted
1 tsp hot pepper flakes
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp oregano
1/2 tsp basil
1/4 tsp salt
1/4 tsp paprika
1/4 tsp cayenne (optional)
1 Tbsp balsamic vinegar or red wine vinegar

Combine all ingredients in a mixing bowl and set aside.

For the zucchini:

6-8 small zucchinis

Cut the tops off the zucchini, then cut them in half, lengthwise, and scoop out seeds. Stuff with sausage. Bake at 350 for 45 mins - 1 hour.

Pork Burgers with Figs and Fennel

Figs were on sale at Whole Foods this weekend. I have never had fresh figs before. As a matter of fact, I'm not sure if I've ever had figs in any form other than a Newton. We got figs, not knowing even what to do with them. We also got fennel. I thought the two would go nicely together. I wanted something sweet, spicy and a bit smoky and pork always goes well with those 3 flavors.

2 lbs ground pork
2 Tbsp Fig Balsamic vinegar
1 tsp cinn
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp crushed brown mustard seeds
1 tsp chipotle powder
1/2 tsp ground fennel
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp coriander
1/2 tsp cayenne

Combine all ingredients thoroughly and let sit at room temp for about 30 mins (or more). Shape them into burgers or sliders. Then grill to awesome perfection. 

1 Fennel bulb
8 figs
1/2 cup sweet onion, sliced thin
1/2 Tbsp Balsamic vinegar 
butter or oil

Heat butter or oil. Jullien fenneland cut figs into 8ths. Saute fennel and onions for about 10 minutes. Let them caramelize a bit and then add figs. continue to saute for 3 minutes then add balsamic and reduce for a few minutes. Serve on top of pork burgers.

Boar Burgers

I'm only posting this because Nikos said they were the best burgers I ever made. Most of my burger recipes are pretty generic: ground animal + vinegar + seasoning. Sometimes onions are thrown in the mix. And if I happen to have homemade Worcestershire sauce, it goes in there too.

1 lb ground boar (or pork if that's what you got. I think dark meat chicken or turkey would also work.)
1 tbsp apple balsamic vinegar
1 tbsp homemade Worcestershire
1 tbsp Penzey's Tsardust Memories

If you don't have Tsardust Memories, combine cinnamon, nutmeg, garlic and salt into some blend of awesomeness.

I cooked these on the gas grill with applewood chips.

Slow Cooker Carnitas

Nikos has been talking about carnitas for 2 weeks. I ordered a pork shoulder from US Wellness Meats to appease him. Pork shoulder is also called Boston Butt. Whoever named it that must have had his head up his ass. It's supposed to be a really fatty dish and I was afraid that the pork wasn't going to be fatty enough on its own and I didn't have lard, so I added 12 oz of bacon. When in doubt, add bacon.

1 Pork shoulder or Boston Butt 3-4 lbs (hehe, I said butt)
10 cloves garlic, pressed
1 orange, zested and juiced
12 oz bacon, diced
1/2 cup broth
1 4 oz can of chiles (I used hatch) or 1/2 cup roasted chilies, diced
2 tsp Mexican oregano
2 tsp cumin
1 tsp chipotle powder
1 tsp smoked Spanish paprika
1 tsp salt
black pepper to taste

Zest and juice orange. Add to the slow cooker with everything else. Cook on low for 6 hours. Once cooked, shred pork with 2 forks. Awesome with eggs or on tomato tortillas.

Avgolemono (Greek Egg-Lemon Soup)

It really disturbs me that the place mat isn't centered, but this was the only pic I took of the soup.

Nikos asked me to make this for him when he was sick. I didn't actually get around to making it until he was better though. He got the onion soup when he was sick. That kicked some germ ass.

1 2.5-3 lb chicken
2 quarts water
1 head of garlic, peeled and smashed
2 Tbsp apple cider vinegar or white balsamic vinegar
1 tsp salt
4 eggs separated
4 lemons, juiced
more salt
pepper

Clean chicken and remove bag of inner bits. (Save them for another recipe.) Put chicken in crock pot with 2 quarts of water and cook on high for 2-4 hours. When chicken is cooked, remove it from pot and separate the meat from the bones and skin. Put chicken meat in the fridge for later; put bones and cartilage back in the crock pot. Add vinegar, 1 tsp salt, and garlic and cook for 12 or more hours on low.

When broth is done, strain out bones and garlic. If you're not making the soup right away, refrigerate the broth until you're ready to cook it. If you are making the soup right away,chop up the chicken very fine, almost shredded and put the chicken back in the crock pot and heat on low or warm.

Separate the eggs. in a large mixing bowl, beat egg whites until stiff peaks are formed, add in yolks and continue to beat. Slowly add lemon juice. Add lemon-egg mixture to soup and mix it all together. the creamy egg mixture will float on top. add more salt and pepper, serve warm.

Pork Burgers with Beef Bacon

I bought beef bacon the other day and I am in love. I've been putting it in my omelets ever since. I was trying to think of other things I could eat it with. Bacon Cheeseburgers are an American Classic, but I don't eat cheese (well, rarely) because I'm a lactard. I thought putting beef bacon on a beef burger would be redundant, so this seemed like the only solution.

I went to Whole Foods and explained to Andy, the seafood guy that I wasn't buying any seafood because I had made crab cakes for lunch and I was making Pork Burgers with Beef Bacon for dinner. He was floored. He thought it was an awesome idea and he would be thinking about it all night. He didn't even know Whole Foods stocked beef bacon. So I brought him to the bacon section to show him. . . and they were out of beef bacon so he started to curse me.

The whole way home I was trying to decide what seasoning to use for the burgers. I thought Turkish Seasoning would be hilarious, but I went with Tsardust Memories instead. Whatever seasoning you choose is irrelevant because these burgers are transcendentally awesome by the mere juxtaposition of the beef and the pork.

I was only able to buy 3/4 of a lb of ground pork because that was all they had.

3/4 lb ground pork (do yourself a favor and double the recipe)
2 tsp seasoning of some sort
1 tbsp apple cider vinegar (or Red Apple Balsamic if you happen to have it)
beef bacon

combine first 3 ingredients in a bowl. Shape into patties. Grill baby, grill. Cook beef bacon and put on burgers.

I did mine with homemade ketchup, grilled onion, roasted red peppers and avocado.

Chicken Di Nocce

I've been MIA for a while due to AC Adapter issues. My laptop battery has been dead for a while. Not really a problem until my AC adapter decided to not work. It was working sporadically, and then my 45 lb pit bull/bull dog, Hazel, stepped on it. Only one paw, and it was a step, not a pounce. It was a sassy step because she's a sassy dog, but just a step none the less. Who knew what awesome power was contained in her little body.

I made this a few weeks ago, but I'm finally getting around to sharing it now. It was pretty freakin' awesome. I ordered the Hazelnut Butter from Fastachi. If you have a nut butter addiction like I do, you might want to be careful while ordering. Their Pecan Butter is ridiculously addictive.

For the marinade: 
1 lb boneless skinless chicken thighs
2 lemons, juiced
nutmeg, dry mustard, pepper

Cut Chicken into cubes, and marinate in other ingredients. I didn't measure out the other ingredients, just sprinkled them on the chicken.

My sassy little puppy princess

For the Hazelnut Sauce:
1 cup Hazelnut butter (or 8oz of roasted hazelnuts)
1 cup coconut milk
1 lemon, juiced
1/2 Tbsp nutmeg
1 tsp dry mustard
1/8 tsp anise
1/8 smoked paprika
dash of hot pepper flakes (not too much, you don't want it to be spicy)
salt and pepper to taste

Combine all ingredients in a food processor. Blend until smooth.

Everything else:
1 Tbsp of fat
10 oz sliced crimini mushrooms

Heat oil in pan. Add marinated chicken and cook for about 5-10 minutes then add the mushrooms and keep cooking until the chicken is cooked and the mushrooms are tender. While that's cooking, make the Hazelnut Sauce. remove chicken from heat and put in a large bowl. add Hazelnut sauce and mix together. Serve on top of Spaghetti Squash or Zucchini Linguini.

Smoked Duck Legs

People who know me know I'm not particularly fond of children. Individual children are fine over the age of ten. That's about the age when you can finally talk to them like they're human beings. However, hordes of children at any age are best avoided.

I do like dogs of all ages. I have two. They are both totally with me on the paleo diet. Jack won't have it any other way. He was born wild and probably had to do alot of hunting and scavenging in his formative years. At least his mom did. I'm sure he helped. He's always trying to help me around the house. It's a shame he doesn't have thumbs. If you give Jack a dog cookie that was made with wheat, he'll look at you funny and try to hide the treat. Hazel will eat anything.

It's alot easier to get your family on board with the paleo diet when your family members are canines. I don't need to keep cookies and cereal in the house. I can cook any vegetable I want without anyone complaining. Their treats are my scraps: bones, gristle, fish skin. They love it. They won't have it any other way.

The duck legs came two in a package. How convenient, I have two dogs who like leg bones. Well, they like all bones. They're not picky. 

Gratuitous Dog Picture

2 duck legs
1 Tbsp Black Currant Balsamic Vinegar
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp ginger
1/8 tsp anise
1/8 tsp cloves
salt, pepper to taste

Mix spices together, rub on legs. The duck legs, not your own legs, although, it might make a soothing muscle rub. Put legs in a ziplock bag and add vinegar and the rest of the spice mix and marinate overnight. Smoke! I used cherry wood chips. You can use any balsamic vinegar for the marinade, but I recommend finding a sweet and fruity one.

Coconut Curry Chicken

When you grow up in New York City, every day is a cultural experience. Sometimes it's a subcultural experience. Every ethnicity, every cuisine, any flavor you might be in the mood for is all right there. My dad loves spicy food, my mom, not so much. So we hardly ever went out for Indian, which wasn't fair to the rest of us who seem to have inherited my father's taste buds. My parents are great cooks (it runs in the family) and they love to cook all different types of food from all different cuisines. My dad used to make curry chicken all the time. It was one of my favorites. He would make it with sweet curry for my mom and leave Madras Curry powder on the table for the rest of us to add to it. He served it with brown rice and we always had raisins, bananas, nuts and chutney to put on top. Now that I live in a vast, desert wasteland, Indian food is not easy to come by. It's also dangerous for me because I will devour an entire basket of Garlic Na'an. Not good if I want to stay gluten and dairy free. So one day, I was craving curry chicken. I had homemade coconut milk that was about to go bad and needed to act fast. My dad used to make his curry with a whole chicken cut up, but he was feeding a family of five and two cats (cats like curry). I am feeding a one and not sharing with the dogs.

I used the dessicated coconut to absorb some of the liquid and thicken the sauce. It also added a nice textural element to make up for the lack of rice.

For the Marinade:

1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breast cut into chunks
Juice from 2 limes
Curry Powder

Marinate overnight to get a good lime flavor in the chicken.

For the Curry:

1/2 tbsp coconut oil
1 cup coconut milk
1/4 cup dessicated, unsweetened coconut (I used medium shredded)
3 Tbsp tomato paste
1 Tbsp (or more) Curry Powder
3 Cloves garlic

In a large sauce pan, heat oil. Saute garlic for 30 seconds, add chicken. when chicken looks cooked on the outside, add curry powder, after 30 seconds add coconut milk. Simmer on low. You don't want to cook it at too high a temp. Simmer for 10 minutes, add tomato paste and coconut. simmer for another 10 minutes or until desired thickness is achieved.

Smoked Chicken Thighs

I eat alot of boneless skinless chicken breasts. They taste great grilled, but smoked they turn out way too dry. I don't have this problem with thighs. Yes the bone in, skin on thighs would be much tastier, but for expedience and convenience I go with boneless, skinless.

1- 1.5 lbs boneless skinless thighs
1/4 cup Apple Cider vinegar
1/4 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp smoked Spanish Paprika
1/8 tsp of the following: ground yellow mustard, nutmeg, cloves, cayenne (or more if you like it spicy), chipotle powder (or double the cayenne if you don't have any), cinnamon, ginger, cumin.

Directions: Trim off odd bits and set aside for dog. Marinate remaining chicken in vinegar and spices for as long as you like. Cook in smoker for about an hour, turning only once. If you're going to grill instead of smoking them, obviously the cooking time is going to be much less. You can use smoking chips to give it the smokey flavor.

My dog, Jack, loves when I make chicken thighs. It's because I trim off the odd bits and cook them up separately for him. He's a spoiled little paleo-pup.

See, pretty simple. Almost too simple. I usually eat this with roasted red peppers, grilled asparagus and butternut squash. I like to peel the butternut squash, cut it into "fries" and bake it with smoked sea salt. (Any ol' salt will do)

Guess who's coming to dinner.

Greek Salad with Grilled Chicken and Boba Feta (Coconut Crumbles)

My quest began last week to figure out a way to make something that vaguely resembles feta out of coconut. The other day I made coconut milk from scratch and the spent coconut meat that results has a consistency similar to Parmesan cheese. It made me think. What could I add to this to make it more cheese like?

Cheese has very distinct qualities. Texture varies between cheeses, but nothing else in the world has a texture similar to cheese. It's usually salty and has a sharpness or tangy-ness unique to itself. It can also be a little sweet. Coconut is a little sweet and it does have a creamy texture. Since feta is crumbly, pureed coconut that's been drained of it's liquid is a good start. A little liquid would first have to be added. My first attempt used fresh squeezed lemon juice, but the results were too sweet. (Holy Cannoli! I might have the makings of a future faux-mascarpone . . . fauxscarpone. . . mascarfaux?) My second attempt, which came out better, used dry white wine vinegar. It gave it enough of the bitter/sourness without any sweetness.

Because I'm a geek, I'm going to call this Boba Feta:

1/2 cup fresh coconut meat, pureed and drained of milk
2 Tbsp Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 tsp white wine vinegar
salt and pepper to taste


Any improvements and suggestions are welcome. You can make it ahead and keep it in the fridge. Plus if you're like me and don't have a food dehydrator, what else can you do with the spent coconut? It doesn't keep long and I'm likely to eat it by the spoonful.

For the chicken:

1 lb boneless skinless chicken breasts, sliced thin
Juice from 1 lemon
1 or 2 cloves of garlic
oregano and pepper to taste.

Marinate the chicken for a couple of hours then grill.

For the salad I use arugula, spinach, tomatoes, radishes, cucumbers, Kalamata olives, green or red onions, bell pepper and slivered almonds. Making a salad isn't rocket surgury. If all you have is spinach and cucumbers, there you go. I always make my own salad dressing. It's pretty simple: 1 part oil to 2 parts vinegar or lemon/lime juice. For a Greek salad, olive oil and either lemon juice or white wine vinegar are good.

Salad Dressing
2 tsp Oregano Infused White Balsamic Or juice from 1/4 -1/2 of a lemon or 1 tsp of any white wine vinegar
1 tsp Garlic Infused Olive Oil (I get mine from here but it's not hard to find in some supermarkets or gourmet shops, or simply make your own)
Salt, pepper, oregano to taste, or Penzey's Greek seasoning
Sea Seasoning Kelp Granules (optional, great natural source of iodine)

If you leave off the Chicken, it makes a great side dish and it's Vegan! You could also top it with shrimp, salmon, lamb, etc. Go nuts.

Pumbaa-sagna

Last week I stumbled across ground venison and ground wild boar in the frozen food section of Sprouts. As a paleo eater, the idea of wild game is appealing, because it's kind of silly to call it "The Caveman Diet" when cavemen when you're eating farm raised animals. Plus, I like trying new things. I grew up in New York City, my wild game experiences are few and far between.

Of course with venison, Bambi was the first thing to come to mind. Fortunately, Disney has a vast array of animal characters for every flavor of meat. Bambi Burgers will be a future blog. Today is Pumbaa-sagna.

1 lb ground wild boar (you can substitute pork)
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp crushed brown mustard
1/4 tsp ginger
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp fennel seeds
1/2 tsp oregano
1/4 tsp thyme
1/4 tsp basil
2 oz tomato paste
1/2 cup egg whites


eggplant
butternut squash
Grape tomatoes (really any kind will do, but I used grape)
1 tsp olive oil

I found a paleo-lasagna recipe using butternut squash once upon a time and made it and it was awesome. I usually think of meat lasagne as a beefy meal. This isn't going to be a traditional lasagne. Not even hardly. But that doesn't mean it can't be awesome. Instead of tomato sauce I just pile smoked tomatoes on top of it.

Combine meat with spices, egg whites and tomato paste in a bowl, set aside.

Thinly slice squash and eggplant. I use a mandolin. Toss eggplant in olive oil. Arrange layers of  veggies and meat in a 9x9 pan. Bake at 400 degrees until it's done, about 45 mins, the veggies should be soft. Top with roasted or smoked tomatoes.

I might have over did it on the veggies so you might want to omit one. or use less of both.

Slow Roasted Pork Tenderloin with Plum Sauce

I eat about 5-6 times a day and try to space out my meals every 2-3 hours. So my meals get packed up in little Rubbermaid containers. I have the worlds largest lunch bag.

It's not going to look this pretty when I open it tomorrow.

1 lb pork tenderloin
2 tbsp Balsamic vinegar 

Rub:
1/2 tsp Smoked Paprika
1/2 tsp Garlic powder
1/4 tsp Chipotle Powder
1/4 tsp Cumin
1/4 tsp Ginger
1/4 tsp Allspice

Marinate pork in balsamic and rub over night. I smoked the pork, but it could also be roasted. I cooked it at about 200-250 for about 3 hours. But I have no concept of time.


Sauce:
coconut oil
4 Plums
1/4 cup Balsamic vinegar
garlic
ginger
chipotle

Heat coconut oil in a pan, saute plums, add spices, add vinegar cook until reduced. 

You might want to make the sauce sweeter by adding honey or something. I like it tangy. Here it is with spinach, spaghetti squash, grilled red onions, roasted red peppers and smoked tomatoes.